Police officers get themselves into a lot of trouble because they fail to recognize what is motivating the behavior of some of the people they come into contact with. Officers see the world solely form their own perspective. They don’t pay attention to how the other person perceives the events and they don’t search for insight into what might be driving the other persons behavior.
The most effective indicators of what is motivating a person’s behavior come from listening to that person. Unfortunately, listening is not something that many of us do well. Listening is not about hearing; it is something much more taxing on the brain. People who say they are good listeners, usually aren’t. They have missed a key point: listening is not about them, it’s about the other person. Active listening is a process that can assist us in gaining a much better understanding of what a person is trying to convey. If we do it well, we also have the potential to pick up on what a person is trying to keep hidden.
Here are a few of the key elements to listen more effectively. Take time. Listening to someone takes time; if we are in a rush, we won’t be listening. Avoid distractions. If a lot is going on around us, or we have a lot of competing issues in our head, we won’t be able to listen. Be present in the moment. You have only one job to do: ‘I am here to listen to this person. Nothing else is as important at this time.’ Listen to the words used. If we can’t repeat verbatim, the last four words that the person has said, we have not listened. Listen to the voice tone and speed of speech. Approximately 40% of what we are saying comes from the way we say something. If there is a change in intonation, there is also a change in meaning. Observe non-verbal communication. Approximately 50% of communication is conveyed non-verbally, through facial and body movements, and the accompanying gestures. If we miss these, we miss the meaning. Listen to hear what is said, not to formulate a reply. We all tend to listen to half of what the person is saying, then start formulating how we will respond.
If we listen to a person, they will tell us what they need or want. But if we listen superficially, we will get the wrong answer. If we see the world solely from our own perspective, inevitably we will get into conflict with people and that conflict will escalate. All police officers need to be taught how to listen and they need to understand about motivation. See our book Why: Understanding Motives and Motivation
For training on interpersonal and communication skills for police officers please get in contact call + 44 7739 370 969 or email info@hsmtraining.com.
